the whole time i kept thinking, i wish i had the words, and if there were just words  i could begin. but there weren’t words and so instead i just nodded.

those thin lines between now and later,  open and closed, between one thing and another,  between life, and whatever comes after.
i glance at the table next to us,  there are old women gathered around with coffees and wrinkled hands and i think about their husbands now.  if they have them,  if they ever did, if they are good. the women nod, lean in, sip from their cups, they share their stories.  i silently feel so grateful for my life and realize i too, have had struggles, mostly internal, not something i have shared with many.  i have been so lucky, so very lucky. i look at my friend and there is no way to interpret the language of the heart.  i wish i had some better advice.

i tell her "you have these thoughts and choices and a thousand paths that can take you in a million different directions." we all go through trials, there are no right answers -  there are many answers,  and even more questions.  at some point she will just know. she and only she will know what to do.

in the dark, past midnight, past making love, past the news, past the promise of tomorrow,  i still think about her words and her confusion. 
i wish her the courage to live life as it changes, as the faults that went unseen in the initial rush of newness emerge, to adapt, and continue and be happy.

i hope she finds comfort in small moments, moments of knowing she is not alone.   and i wish her strength through all the big ones.


love sent, xo