i feel heavy...

so heavy.

a heavy that is different from the heavy i feel
when i eat too many chips with salsa
and guacamole
or after a few bites of a borders quesadilla,
as i  walk to the car from the mexican restaurant
a series of remorseful, thick steps.
the heavy i mean is the kind of heavy
that wraps around my heart,
sinking it down into my gut
like a rusty anchor.
it pulls down my shoulders, my chin,
the corners of my mouth,
and leaks from the inside out in tiny, teary streams.
i feel heavy
because i am sad…
sometimes i feel heavy
because sometimes life is hard …
and sometimes i feel heavy
because someone else is feeling heavy too.

heaviness is contagious that way.