for dad...

one more day... how can it possibly be that a year has past? a year since i heard your laugh. a year since i felt your hugs. a thanksgiving without you, a christmas, a birthday, an anniversary, a fathers day. so many days i wished we could have shared one more moment.  my heart over flows, i fill my pockets, i fill my memory, i fill my journal, there is simply not enough space to hold all the goodness.  all the stories, all the connections - all the laughter. i miss your laughter so much. the silence deafens.   this is life.  it is all part of life. always counter balancing the good and the bad. how lucky we were to have you for so long but how BIG the void is now that you are gone.  i look for your light when i am fumbling in the dark.  i know you can see us shinning even tho we can't see eachother.   i know you are watching over us helping us through the next chapter.  every single day i miss you. as we get older peoples presence gain importance, family has always been important but it becomes very clear that each day is a gift, a very special gift.  there were so many things i still needed to say. so many things i still needed to ask you.
i miss you the most at unexpected times. like a random tuesday. it surprises me how quickly the emotion wells up.

i still need you.
i still miss you.
and i hope somehow you know that...



love forever, xo