Wednesday, November 17, 2010

love makes us brave...

i woke up sad and teary this morning.  the sadness underneath is close to the surface. 
i  push it down,  it bubbles back up. walking through this season is hard.
over the weekend we laid my dad to his eternal resting place. it's a beautiful place with
many trees and flowers. 
a few leaves on the trees were barely hanging on, bravely by their little stems.  that's kind of how i felt
in the first days after my dad died.  just writing those words can make me cry.  there is
nothing like walking along with pieces of your heart falling out of your pocket every time you
bend over or turn to fast. 
i think you dropped this little piece of a heart on the floor yours?
oh yes,  thanks...
but i got back my heart by the people who loved dad.  all the people that came to the
funeral service, or sent cards and flowers, or dropped a note.
it is amazing how healing that is.
when winter comes you wrap yourself up in a cozy coat.  when internal winter comes
you wrap yourself up in cozy care.  all of you have brought me warmth.   it softens the edges,
and make it easier to ride out the storm.

my heartfelt thanks to all of you.

i do my best to hold steady when the pendulum swings,  but no one can do it alone.  so now it's back to
routines and keeping  the rhythm.   all of you are like the glue that keeps me together when my
internal parts are rattling.   
so again, i can't thank you enough.

i love, this picture above (it was a few weeks ago) birch trees were one of my dad's very favorites.....

i like looking at pictures  remembering all the magic moments that made up our days together.  he would want that.  he really would.

love sent,


Anonymous said...

yes he would.....there is nothing like a father's love for his children

Moe said...

"Love truly is the legacy Uncle Bill leaves us." Love is the super glue. Love makes us brave because we have earned the courage. Love all the pics you all post-they make me laugh-esp. this fishing one-(see my FB post/status response) We MUST have a movie night/pic. night-your Mom would love it, too! Laughter, so much laughter...How he loved fall (Read the poem, October's Bright Blue Weather-one of his and my Mom's favorites they'd quote together.) and the maple leaves, too. When visiting in VT, he always brought some back to SAM-how he loved nature- (Walden Pond) We were both the "country mice!" Hang in there, Dee, each tomorrow will get easier, I promise. We can help each other pick up the pieces and glue them together w/all the cherished memories, ok? I miss him more than I'd ever imagined but like Kahlil Gibran once said: "Love knows not its' own depth until the hour of separation." So true. Hugs XO

"Each moment in time is a gift that comes and goes in a blink of an eye.
We question, as always, the meaning of life, And "to live" is the only reply."

Anonymous said...

He always loved it when the family was together. That was his magic moments. His love for his sons, daughters,their spouses,his grandchildren,great grandchildren, and most of all his sweet wife (his special cup of "Jo"). His love will always be with us. We will carry it in our hearts. xo

Anonymous said...

He was the best! You were so lucky to have him.