Friday, January 7, 2011

time heals...

i know this to be true.
i have experienced it.
the world looks different with each year that passes.
like looking into the lens of a camera.
when you look through and you see a wider landscape.
you see your life moving along.
pieces of change.
losses that cut deep.
the past year has had ranges of emotion that are impossible to explain.
you would have had to have been there.
so the journey of life continues.
each life with it's twists and turns and detours.
there are places i can't reach.
it's not always as easy for some people as it is for others.
i see my children and how much they have changed.
how they are making their way in this world.
how quickly they became grown ups.  how proud they make me.
they can't see me jumping up and down in the backdrop of the day
wanting everything to slow down.
they are in the prime of their life.
they want to push the clock and make the morning come quickly.
i want the time to last and last  - but it doesn't.
 it finally catches up to you
 and then pieces of it are over.
but i am so grateful that i had that time
a time impossible to measure.
a time so many people never ever have.
i have to believe that all things happen for a reason.
then i watch my mom and how she smiles through her heart ache and i know
i can too.
 i wonder how fast she thinks time is moving along.
i see my friends and some of their struggles.
they want to go back in time.
sometimes i can't catch my breath with how fast everything is moving.
but on the edge of all of this, there is love -  and  in the silence i find peace.
little pieces of time where i know that even on hard days things will be better.
that even tho so much of my invincible skin has torn off these days.
even tho i know how fast it is all going down.
and sometimes i am scared with how my heart feels.
there is love here, great big love, and i still have so much love to share,
and with that i know i will get there.
and i remind myself it's the journey not the destination that is most important.

love sent,

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